wisdom of the trees.

So I guess that life isn't always beautiful. One minute your eyes see bursting vibrant colors and without warning blackness sweeps over and you have to start the cycle all over again. How can I learn to see everything through the eyes of the Universe? By this I mean to see beyond polarities...good and bad, light and dark, negative and positive. Yes, our minds categorize things in life by default, placing them into little mind-made folders our brains title "good" and "bad". But just because our brains conceptualize this, doesn't entirely make it so. Without the dark, light could not exist. And without bad days, the good days would have nothing to contrast with therefore, we would not able to consciously know of goodness in that form without it. But the Universe knows nothing of these polarities. Light is no better than dark. Good is no better than bad. Without the darkness plants cannot grow, we cannot grow. And the same exists for light.
So although I know and can conceptualize this, still I cannot separate myself from the emotions attached to "bad" things. This is my humanity, part of our human condition. Just because I know that darkness is just as important and no less necessary than light, still I cannot stop myself from resisting it at all costs.
And in many ways, I don't really want to have that separation because emotions are part of the human experience. I resist the bad emotions, sending them away as if I am scared of them, not being able to realize that they are there for a reason. When we feel a negative emotion it's our body/soul/spirit's way of getting our attention, waking us up to a particular part of ourselves or our lives that needs to be changed in order for light/goodness to exist again. So why do I/we push them away? Besides the fact that they feel really unpleasant majority of the time, I believe the reason lies deeper than that. Because we are afraid. We are afraid of facing a particular part of ourselves or our reality. Because by facing it, that may mean we will have to accept something we don't like or aren't ready to see.
When will I be ready to see? I suppose becoming aware of something is the first step. I can't help but want to only live in love. And I think that's the highest goal we can set for ourselves...to live in love. I think we should try to see, feel, and know everything we can through the eyes of compassion. But by setting this goal in place, I can not deprive myself the experience of other emotions and feelings as they arise, for they are messengers here to tell me of needed change in my life. They tell me what I need to do differently, what to accept or reject.
I want to live more like the plants and the trees, the few animals still living in the wild, from the Earth. They seem to live with less resistance. I have observed a large, beautiful tree in our front yard for the passed few months. When I first met this tree, it's leaves were full and green, and it seemed to vibrate such life from it's branches. In September, I knew when I stood beneath it that it had a beautiful story to tell me. This story is still unfolding and will truly never end. As I listen to it's story daily, I see a reflection of my own life. This has made me understand and appreciate like never before the great cycles we go through in life. I watched all of it's beautiful, green leaves fall in Autumn. These leaves fell to the ground, where they still lie today because no one at my house (including myself) has taken the time to rake them. So because of this, I've been able to experience the cycle of life in it's purest form. These leaves will break down, making room for new life on the grass below. And as for the tree, presently it has no leaves on it's branches. It may appear to be dead, and it a sense it is. But if you look passed form, you will see that this tree is very much alive. It's just in the "dark" part of it's cycle. If I choose to view this "dark", "dead" part of it's cycle as negative, I am in turn resisting life itself. Because in a few months, Spring will bring the energy of new life, new leaves, new air. That darkness then, won't really be that dark anymore.

Today I ask to have the wisdom of the trees.